Poem No. 52: “The Lost Land” (Das Verlorene Land) by Eavan Boland, Ireland

Gedichte, poems
Ireland
I have two daughters.
They are all I ever wanted from the earth.
Or almost all.
I also wanted one piece of ground:

One city trapped by hills. One urban river.
An island in its element.
So I could say mine. My own.
And mean it.

Now they are grown up and far away
and memory itself
has become an emigrant,
wandering in a place
where love dissembles itself as landscape:

Where the hills
are the colours of a child's eyes,
where my children are distances, horizons:

At night,
on the edge of sleep,
I can see the shore of Dublin Bay.
Its rocky sweep and its granite pier.

Is this, I say
how they must have seen it,
backing out on the mailboat at twilight,
shadows falling
on everything they had to leave?
And would love forever?

And then
I imagine myself
at the landward rail of that boat
searching for the last sight of a hand.

I see myself
on the underworld side of that water,
the darkness coming in fast, saying
all the names I know for a lost land:

Ireland. Absence. Daughter.
Ich habe zwei Töchter.
Sie sind alles was ich von dieser Erde wollte.
Oder fast alles.
Ich wollte auch ein Stück Land:
Eine Stadt umgeben von Hügeln.
Einen städtischen Fluss.
Eine Insel in seinem Element.
So daß ich Meins sehen könnte.
Mein Eigenes.
Und dies auch so meinen.

Nun sind sie erwachsen und weit weg
und selbst die Erinnerung
ist zu einer Erinnerung geworden,
umherwandernd an einem Ort,
wo die Liebe sich selbst zergliedert - als Landschaft:
Wo die Hügel 
die Farbe von Kinderaugen sind,
wo meine Kinder Entfernungen,
Horizonte sind.

In der Nacht
am Rande des Schlafes
kann ich die Küstenlinie der Bucht Dublins sehen.
Ihren felsigen Schwung und ihren Pier aus Granit.

Ist dies, frage ich mich
was sie gesehen haben müssen,
herausfahrend auf einem Postschiff 
in der Dämmerung,
Schatten fallen
auf alles, was sie verlassen müssen?
Und für immer lieben würden?

Und dann 
Stelle ich mich selbst vor 
an der Landseite des Bootes
nach der letzten Sicht einer Hand suchend.
Ich sehe mich
von der Seite der Unterwelt dieses Wassers,
die Dunkelheit kommt rasch,
alle Namen rufend, die ich für ein verlorenes Land kenne.

Irland, Fehlen, Tochter.  

(Übersetzung von Weiss-Nix)
Bildergebnis für leaving Ireland
Irish Migrants

Haiku No. 79: Hush! (Still!)

Creatures, Gedichte, humor, poems

images (1)

Hush, Baby…don`t you cry!
Life is full of cuddles & snuggles.
How to unsheathe your claws,
I will teach you later on.

Still, Baby…weine nicht!
Das Leben ist voll von Kuscheleinheiten & Liebkosungen.
Wie du deine Krallen ausfährst,
werde ich dir später beibringen.

 

 

Insight No.: “REJECTION” – 10 Effects on our Self – 6 Exercises for Self-Protection

Insights, Psychologie, psychology, Tipps

rejection robo.jpg

We know that rejection really hurts, but they can also inflict damage to our psychological well-being that goes well beyond mere emotional pain. Here are 10 lesser known facts that describe the various effects rejection has on our emotions, thinking, and behavior.

Let’s begin by examining why rejection hurts as much as it does:

1. Rejection piggybacks on physical pain pathways in the brain.

fMRI studies show that the same areas of the brain become activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain. This is why rejection hurts so much (neurologically speaking). In fact our brains respond so similarly to rejection and physical pain that…

2. Tylenol reduces the emotional pain rejection elicits.

In a study testing the hypothesis that rejection mimics physical pain, researchers gave some participants acetaminophen (Tylenol) before asking them to recall a painful rejection experience. The people who received Tylenol reported significantly less emotional pain than subjects who took a sugar pill. Psychologists assume that the reason for the strong link between rejection and physical pain is that…

3. Rejection served a vital function in our evolutionary past.

In our hunter/gatherer past, being ostracized from our tribes was akin to a death sentence, as we were unlikely to survive for long alone. Evolutionary psychologists assume the brain developed an early warning system to alert us when we were at risk for ostracism. Because it was so important to get our attention, those who experienced rejection as more painful (i.e., because rejection mimicked physical pain in their brain) gained an evolutionary advantage—they were more likely to correct their behavior and consequently, more likely to remain in the tribe. Which probably also explains why…

4. We can relive and re-experience social pain more vividly than we can physical pain.

Try recalling an experience in which you felt significant physical pain and your brain pathways will respond, “Meh.” In other words, that memory alone won’t elicit physical pain. But try reliving a painful rejection (actually, don’t—just take my word for it), and you will be flooded with many of the same feelings you had at the time (and your brain will respond much as it did at the time, too). Our brain prioritizes rejection experiences because we are social animals who live in “tribes.” This leads to an aspect about rejection we often overlook…

5. Rejection destabilizes our “Need to Belong.”

We all have a fundamental need to belong to a group. When we get rejected, this need becomes destabilized and the disconnection we feel adds to our emotional pain. Reconnecting with those who love us, or reaching out to members of groups to which we feel strong affinity and who value and accept us, has been found to soothe emotional pain after a rejection. Feeling alone and disconnected after a rejection, however, has an often overlooked impact on our behavior…

6. Rejection creates surges of anger and aggression.

In 2001, the Surgeon General of the U.S. issued a report stating that rejection was a greater risk for adolescent violence than drugs, poverty, or gang membership. Countless studies have demonstrated that even mild rejections lead people to take out their aggression on innocent bystanders. School shootings, violence against women, and fired workers going “postal” are other examples of the strong link between rejection and aggression. However, much of that aggression elicited by rejection is also turned inward…

7. Rejections send us on a mission to seek and destroy our self-esteem.

We often respond to romantic rejections by finding fault in ourselves, bemoaning all our inadequacies, kicking ourselves when we’re already down, and smacking our self-esteem into a pulp. Most romantic rejections are a matter of poor fit and a lack of chemistry, incompatible lifestyles, wanting different things at different times, or other such issues of mutual dynamics. Blaming ourselves and attacking our self-worth only deepens the emotional pain we feel and makes it harder for us to recover emotionally. But before you rush to blame yourself for…blaming yourself, keep in mind the fact that…

8. Rejection temporarily lowers our IQ.

Being asked to recall a recent rejection experience and relive the experience was enough to cause people to score significantly lower on subsequent IQ tests, tests of short-term memory, and tests of decision making. Indeed, when we are reeling from a painful rejection, thinking clearly is just not that easy. This explains why…

9. Rejection does not respond to reason.

Participants were put through an experiment in which they were rejected by strangers. The experiment was rigged—the “strangers” were confederates of the researchers. Surprisingly, though, even being told that the “strangers” who had “rejected” them did not actually reject them did little to ease the emotional pain participants felt. Even being told that the strangers belonged to a group they despised, such as e.g. the Neo-Nazis, did little to soothe people’s hurt feelings. Still, the news is not all bad, because…

10. There are ways to treat the psychological wounds rejection inflicts.

It is possible to treat the emotional pain rejection elicits and to prevent the psychological, emotional, cognitive, and relationship fallouts that occur in its aftermath. To do so effectively we must address each of our psychological wounds (i.e., soothe our emotional pain, reduce our anger and aggression, protect our self-esteem, and stabilize our need to belong)

How to handle your fear to be rejected….

rejection-letter-charles-schulz-cartoon

  1. Dissect thoughts under the microscope. When faced with a challenge, what do you tell yourself? “I’m no good . . . this is too hard . . . I’ll never make it . . .?” Don’t let negative self-talk sabotage your attitude.
  2. Identify realistic fears. Whom do you fear? What might go wrong? Who has the power to reject you? Why would that person say no? The answers will help you prepare your best offer, and facing them will help you keep your composure.
  3. Focus on the moment. Keep your perspective. Rejection lasts only a moment, and once it’s over, you’ll be able to move on to the next opportunity.
  4. Be more assertive. Most fears of rejection rest on the desire for approval from other people. Don’t base your self-esteem on their opinions. Learn to express your own needs (appropriately), and say no to requests when you genuinely can’t help.
  5. Analyze every failure, but never wallow in one. Harry Truman once said, “As soon as I realize I’ve made one damned fool mistake, I rush out and make another one.” Failure is a condition all of us experience. It’s our reaction to our failures that distinguishes winners from losers.
  6. Don’t rationalize away the hurt. Turned down for funding? Didn’t get the contract? Turned down for funding? Lost a top employee to a big competitor? Don’t let your worth be defined by others. Get back in the game. It’s not a permanent condition; it’s a short-term setback.

 

rejection

(source: partially Psychologie-Heute)

No-Art No. 14: “Vorsicht – Bleistifte Lügen Nicht!” (Beware – Pencils Don`t Lie!)

arts, Creatures, Kunst, Psychologie, psychology

hesitation

No kidding, I was determined to portray a “Happy Dog”…and this is the result. A HAPPY Dog?!

No doubt, pencils don`t lie. Smiling, I had to admit to myself that this pooch reflects my true emotional state at this day. I was looking into a self-made mirror…Unintentional “Self-reflection” at its best. 

Kein Scherz, I war wild entschossen, einen “glücklichen Hund” zu zeichnen…und dies ist das Ergebnis. Ein GLÜCKLICHER Hund?!

Kein Zweifel, Bleistifte lügen nicht. Schmunzelnd, musste ich mir eingestehen, dass der Köter meine wahre Gemütsverfassung an diesem Tag offenbart hat. I schaute in einen selbstgemachten Spiegel… Unbeabsichtigte “Selbst-Reflektion” in bester Form.